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Nose Hair Lint Gland

What happens to live-mix radio after it falls over the edge and the receptacle shatters? Pete Goldie, Bob-Marc, and Sherilyn Connelly (sometimes but not always necessarily with KrOB and/or Puzzling Evidence, give or take) pick up the pieces and re-deconstruct it into a whole 'nother but strangely similar NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND-esque thing. Now with 100% less discipline and thought, a hi-fi companion with vocal samples stepping on real-time voices, multiple background (and foreground and sideground) sound collages on the air while people don't stop talking, and laptops open while engaged. All rational thought will be exterminated, all hot dogs will be wrapped in bacon, and all hadrons will collide like bumper cars also wrapped in bacon. Dwarves pronounced, Lilith soliloquized, phone flashing, nitrous cracking, and booper pending.


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Nose Hair Lint Gland
Apr 13, 2019 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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Stars have their moment, and then they die. (This recording is missing the first ten minutes.)
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Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nov 30, 2018 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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RELOADIO STEALS YOUR MICROPHONES November 30, 2018 10:00pm what’s happening.. oh..uhm.. well, i had a question from, uhh.. another…. member before…. and that was, uhm, “are these people the ones who do reloadio?”…. and, uhhh… i….i said, “yes”, because i-i guess? and again, I’M NOT POINTING FINGERS… but, IT MAKES ALOT OF SENSE! so, umm…. people that, um.. that want tooo….RUIN RADIO VALENCIA…. and, uhh.. hey, I’m not saying anything bad at all about reloadio. uh, i...
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Nose Hair Lint Gland
Oct 31, 2018 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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SHERILYN AND KrOB'S 2018 DISNEYLAND HALLOWEEN SPOOKTACULAR October 31, 2018 On Halloween 2018, Sherilyn and KrOB went to Disneyland. KrOB recorded it. This is what it sounded like.
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Nose Hair Lint Gland
Sep 15, 2017 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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DECK CHAIR REARRANGEMENT 101 September 5, 2017 10:00pm The band had broken out in the strains of "Nearer, My God, to Thee," some minutes before Murdock lifted the revolver to his head, fired and toppled over on his face. Moody saw all this in a vision that filled his brain, while his ears drank in the tragic strain of the beautiful hymn that the band played as their own dirge, even to the moment when the waters sucked them down. Wherever Murdock's eye swept the water in that instant,...
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Nose Hair Lint Gland
Aug 27, 2017 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND FALL TV PREVIEW August 29, 2017 10:00pm While the television season no longer runs neatly from September to May, there's still a rush of new shows — especially on broadcast networks — in the fall. Here are the Top Picks from the Popular Culture Department of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND. "CSI: Radio Valencia" - Tuesday 10pm Join the top investigators of the Radio Valencia staff email list as they solve the crime of the century: who took the missing bathroom key. The...
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Nose Hair Lint Gland
Aug 22, 2017 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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THE HIPPIE TEMPTATION August 22, 2017 10:00pm On Aug. 22, 1967, a CBS News series titled Who, What, Where, When, Why premiered, anchored by Harry Reasoner. The premier was a shocking expose of the Haight-Ashbury scene known as The Hippie Temptation. Basically, the producers decided that showing teenagers picture of people having a good time, and hoping that “Now don’t you go and do this!” finger-wagging testimonials from marble-mouthed men in white coats will make it look less appealing...
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Nose Hair Lint Gland
Aug 15, 2017 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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HAVING FUN WITH ELVIS IN HIS GRAVE August 15, 2017 10:00pm On the 40th anniversary of Elvis's death, only the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND dares to ask, "Is Elvis alive?" The shocking truth uncovered by Sherilyn Connelly will...um...shock you! Special NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND Spoiler Alert: The answer is "no." Chatroom History August 15, 2017 10:00pm - 12:30am The Reel Donald Trump : If You Hurt Guam, Nose Hair Lint Grand Will Delusional (10:48pm)
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Nose Hair Lint Gland
Aug 8, 2017 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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LAZY LAZY DAYS August 8, 2017 10:00pm As if to prove that casual prediction that we could not possibly survive 8 months of a cheeto-colored shitgibbon's presidency, the Universe has given us August! What a month! Tucked neatly between the anniversaries of two nuclear attacks on an Asian adversary as serious consideration is given to nuking another any day now, tonight's FINAL BROADCAST (see what we did there?) of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND will 1) remember all the fun fun things that can and will...
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Nose Hair Lint Gland
Aug 1, 2017 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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THANK HEDY FOR WI-FI! August 1, 2017 10:00pm Spread spectrum systems are becoming more and more prevalent, also for ISMband systems. As the ISM bands become more and more crowded, the anti-jamming properties of spread spectrum techniques are useful for ensuring reliable communications. The FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND differs from a classical narrow-band or broadband system in that the signal energy is spread over a much wider frequency range, reducing the power spectral density of...
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Nose Hair Lint Gland
Jul 25, 2017 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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WESTWOOD VS. DEADWORLD July 25, 2017 10:00pm In reviews of popular culture, there is one stale technique second only to the creation of "Best/Worst" lists that challenges the immeasurable intellect of the above average viewer, and that is the death match. Take two vaguely similar productions and compare them as if they were candidates for sending on our next interstellar space probe to represent the pinnacle of human-like civilization. Setting aside the futility of shipping a show...
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Nose Hair Lint Gland
Jul 18, 2017 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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 EVERY VERSION OF "STARDUST" EVER July 18, 2017 10:00pm You know, some time ago I had a love affair that ended sort of unhappily, and just a little while back, just before I died, in fact, I was on the operating table, and I was searching to try and find something to hang on to, you know. Cause when you're dying, your life suddenly really does become very authentic. And I was reaching for something to give my life meaning, and a memory flashed through my mind. It was one of those...
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Nose Hair Lint Gland
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AMELIA EARHART IS ALIVE AND WELL AND LIVING WITH QUACKSER FORTUNE'S COUSIN IN THE BRONX July 11, 2017 10:00pm On the 80th anniversary of that fateful flight over the Pacific, new evidence has emerged to suggest Amelia Earhart and her navigator, Fred Noonan, didn’t just vanish over the ocean in 1937. That was the year Earhart made two attempts to circumnavigate the globe in her Lockheed Electra, the second of which appeared to have ended in her crash landing somewhere over the Pacific when she...
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Nose Hair Lint Gland
Jul 4, 2017 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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IN DEPENDS DAY July 4, 2017 10:00pm Some say America's best days are behind us. Sadly, what's really behind us is not as charming as American car ads make it out, in fact you don't want to go back there. Yup, what passes for new these days is not anything you want to brag about. Everyone yearns for the good old days of hard, solid and proud examples of getting the big job done, taking from an irresistible idea all the way to the completed paperwork. We used to take a good long look at what we...
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Nose Hair Lint Gland
Jun 27, 2017 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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BAD CHOICES June 27, 2017 10:00pm In a recent review of this year's summer films provocatively entitled "Ticket, Torrent, Stream It", Sherilyn Connelly presented to her readers three theoretical routes to viewing a movie: "... you decide which movies you should pay to see in a theater on a given weekend, which you should watch on the streaming service of your choice in a few months, and which you should download using Bram Cohen’s peer-to-peer problem-child BitTorrent —...
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Nose Hair Lint Gland
Jun 20, 2017 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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MAY THE TWENTIETH BE WITH YOU June 20, 2017 10:00pm As all real Star Wars fans know, nothing at all of importance ever happened on June 20. None of the films were released on that day, none of the cast have any birthdays, and not even Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc, or Sherilyn Connelly have anything interesting to say about this date. And the fact that the original studio was called Twentieth Century-Fox doesn't mean anything, either. But, hey! Star Wars! TIE Fighters! AT-STs! Darth Vader!...
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Nose Hair Lint Gland
Jun 13, 2017 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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OUR REAGAN June 13, 2017 10:00pm With a deep awareness of the responsibility conferred by your trust, I accept your nomination for the Programming Committee of the Radio Valencia. I do so with deep gratitude, and I thank you for your wholehearted response to my recommendation in regard to [NAME REDACTED] as a candidate for Vice Programming Committee Chair. I am very proud of Radio Valencia 87.9FM tonight. This station has shown to all America a community united, with positive programs for...
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Nose Hair Lint Gland
May 30, 2017 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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BURTON, MOORE, HARRIS May 30, 2017 10:00pm Richard Burton, Roger Moore, Richard Harris. RICHARD BURTON, ROGER MOORE, RICHARD HARRIS Richard Burton, Roger Moore, Richard Harris. NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: ...and Hardy Krüger. Chatroom History May 30, 2017 10:00pm - 1:30am Kilt M. Slaggish: Slugs (10:52pm) vj pussycat: broken (11:35pm) vj pussycat: not broken (11:43pm)
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Nose Hair Lint Gland
May 23, 2017 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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THE WHITMAN INSTRUMENT May 23, 2017 10:00pm Congratulations on your purchase of a new Portable Whitman Instrument, Model 1.0! This device can be used for the detection and examination of many objects, including: - splinters - tartigrades (water bears) - 5 pt. alphanumeric characters - early signs of Dr. Daniel Schreber's character - mcguffins and other plot devices To use the instrument, place on stable surface (such as a table), turn power on, place object in convenient corner stage, observe...
Topic: Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nose Hair Lint Gland
May 16, 2017 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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"THAT'S CLASSIFIED" May 16, 2017 10:00pm XXXXX described highly classified details of an XXXX XXXXS threat related to using XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX on XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX. He also reportedly revealed the XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX in the XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX's territory where the XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXX XXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX detected the threat, which could damage a...
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Nose Hair Lint Gland
May 9, 2017 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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NHLG FIRES PROGRAM DIRECTOR May 9, 2017 10:00pm NYSE HYRE LYNT GLYND on Tuesday fired Fyre Festival organizer and Radio Valencia program director John Hell after all of NHLG's binder full of lawyers recommended his immediate removal. "The Fyre Festival is one of our nation's most cherished and respected institutions and today will mark a new beginning for our crown jewel of EDM events," Karen Carpenter said in a statement, adding, "... frankly we did not even know we had a...
Topic: Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nose Hair Lint Gland
May 2, 2017 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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THE FOG May 2, 2017 10:00pm As the first day of final year of the 1970s dawned, action/horror/science fiction/dystopia film director John Carpenter, clearly hungover from the Hollywood B+ list New Year's Eve party he stumbled out of, mistook budding actress Adrienne Barbeau for established action film star Kay Parker, and promptly married her. In the preternatural process that governs "The Business", Carpenter mistook Lady Haden-Guest for the young actress he had previously cast in a...
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Nose Hair Lint Gland
Apr 25, 2017 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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WE'RE GOING TO WAR! April 25, 2017 10:00pm Then it's war! Gather the forces! Harness the horses! Radio Valencia's going to war! Each DJ will grab a gun and run away to war! We're going to war, this is a fact Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc, and Sherilyn Connelly can't ignore on the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND! Oh, how we’d cry for Rapido if Rapido should die, a mighty man is he -- a man of brawn who’ll carry on 'til LPFM Victory. NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: All God's children got podcasts...
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Nose Hair Lint Gland
Apr 4, 2017 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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ZERO GRAVITY NHLG INSTRUCTIONS April 4, 2017 10:00pm Radio Valencia is of the standard zero-gravity type. Depending on requirements, System A and/or System B can be used, details of which are clearly marked in the radio compartment. When operating System A, depress lever and a plastic dalkron eliminator will be dispensed through the slot immediately underneath. When you have fastened the adhesive lip, attach connection marked by the large "X" outlet hose. Twist the silver coloured...
Topic: Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nose Hair Lint Gland
Mar 28, 2017 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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NOSEHAIRLINTGLANDCARE March 28, 2017 10:00pm Everyone knows that NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND is a disaster, causing needless suffering of every hearing patient, without exception. PERIOD. As promised during the campaign, NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND will be immediately discontinued and eventually replaced by NOSEHAIRLINTGLANDCARE, which is really beautiful, believe me. During the 6+ years since the "broadcast" was approved by the Radio Valencia Board of Directors (Total Losers!), NOSE HAIR LINT...
Topic: Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nose Hair Lint Gland
Mar 21, 2017 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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UNLOCKING NOSE HEAVEN'S LINT GATE March 21, 2017 10:00pm Whether Hale-Bopp has a "companion" or not is irrelevant from our perspective. However, its arrival is joyously very significant to us at Radio Valencia. The joy is that our Older Member in the Evolutionary Level Above DJ (the "Kingdom of Excellence") has made it clear to us that Hale-Bopp's approach is the "marker" we've been waiting for -- the time for the arrival of the spacecraft from the Level Above DJ...
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Nose Hair Lint Gland
Mar 7, 2017 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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RATHER March 7, 2017 10:00pm In these confusing and troubled times, so hard to see clear of the ditch weed and its so foggy the birds are walking, there is a man ready as a 3rd-time bride to lead us through like he’s riding a gravy train with biscuit wheels. Someone who got a ten-gallon mouth, ready to talk a coon right out of a tree while grinning like a mule eating cockleburs. To call him a seasoned reporter is to insult all three seasons in Texas, dry, wet and cyclone, especially since he...
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Nose Hair Lint Gland
Feb 21, 2017 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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NHLG GETS RAPTURE-READY February 21, 2017 10:00pm There are many DJs who believe that the second coming of Jesus Christ will be in two phases. First He will come for believers, both living and dead. In this view, the rapture—which is the transformation and catching up of all DJs, dead or alive, to meet Christ in the air—will be secret, for it will be unknown to the world of unbelievers such as Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc, and Sherilyn Connelly at the time of its happening. The effect of this...
Topic: Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nose Hair Lint Gland
Feb 21, 2017 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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PRE-GLAND ¡DISCO ROTO!: THE BEST SHOW EVER, PART 1 February 21, 2017 8:00pm (Guest-ghosted by Sherilyn Connelly and Pete Goldie) Chatroom History February 21, 2017 8:00pm - 10:30pm vj pussycat: sounds like nosehair lint gland more than end of the world (8:16pm) vj pussycat: or rather, the end of the world sounds a lot like nhlg (8:16pm) vj pussycat: que paso (8:25pm) vj pussycat: mkt, are you at the station (8:28pm) vj pussycat: remote robo dj has taken over (8:32pm) vj pussycat: the worst...
Topic: Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nose Hair Lint Gland
Feb 14, 2017 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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THE DEATH OF LOVE February 14, 2017 10:00pm Love is real, real is love. Love is feeling, feeling love. Love is wanting to be loved. Love is Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc, and Sherilyn Connelly on the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND. Love is free, free is love. Love is living...living is...j/k, love has been dead since November 2016. Probably longer, actually. NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: Remember, "evol" spelled backwards is "love."
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Nose Hair Lint Gland
Feb 7, 2017 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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HONEST SIGNAL February 7, 2017 10:00pm In the social sciences, the term "honest signal" refers to a signal that is costly to create, like the tail of a peacock, which (honestly) signals health and vigor, or, say, a crisp and powerful broadcast transmission from a community radio station. Some claim an honest signal to be a trait revealed by people's behavior on the air, even when that may be contrary to their reported preferences for quiet contemplation. Listeners may report greater...
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Nose Hair Lint Gland
Jan 31, 2017 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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BETRAYED January 31, 2017 10:00pm Does history repeat itself, or is it Tourettes syndrome? Nixon had to depose independent special prosecutor Archibald Cox, Attorney General Elliot Richardson and Deputy Attorney General General William Ruckelshaus before finding an ambitious political toady named Robert Bork to do his dirty work. The fumigating mass now staining the Oval Office with his tantrums and wet farts, aided by his alcoholic white supremacist pretend friend, got the lickspittle they...
Topic: Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nose Hair Lint Gland
Jan 24, 2017 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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THE LAST PODCAST ON THE MOON January 24, 2017 10:00pm When Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc, and Sherilyn Connelly stepped off the moon in December 1972, they left their footprints and their daughter’s initials in the lunar dust. Only now, over forty years later, ARE ready to share his epic but deeply personal story of fulfillment, love and loss. Their burning ambition carried them from a quiet Chicago suburb to the spectacular and hazardous environment of space, and ultimately, to the moon. But...
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Nose Hair Lint Gland
Jan 17, 2017 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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GOING DOWN January 17, 2017 10:00pm The doors are mirrors, reflecting back the gilded columns, the ceiling reaching to Heaven, the floor of polished stone dug from the Earth continents away, the Praetorian Guard erect immobile inert, the suits, the staff, the residents, the scribblers, the unblinking eyes, and bipeds in red. The appointed stare away toward the exit, measuring the steps to the narrow noisy canyon, thoughts of the struggle the will the victory and now the dominion. The scribblers...
Topic: Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nose Hair Lint Gland
Jan 10, 2017 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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FAKE SHOW January 10, 2017 10:00pm Fake show (also referred to as false show, faux show, or Dante's Hot Tub) deliberately present hoaxes, propaganda, and disinformation, and use social media to drive web traffic and amplify their effect. Unlike satire, fake show seek to mislead, rather than entertain the listener for financial, political or other gain. Such show have promoted false ska, fake noodling and autotune. Fake show is a form of psychological warfare and is damaging to democracy and...
Topic: Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nose Hair Lint Gland
Jan 3, 2017 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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REVOLUTION 17 January 3, 2017 10:00pm So the wife called, and we better go to see a surgeon, but what with the prices and all, the prices have snowballed, it's so absurd, yeah, no wonder they're closed. So anyhow, he went to see the dentist instead who gave him a pair of teeth, which wasn't any good at all. So instead of the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, he joined the bloody navy and went to sea. They found a shortage of grain in Hartfordshire, and Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc, and...
Topic: Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nose Hair Lint Gland
Dec 27, 2016 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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WRAPPING UP December 27, 2016 10:00pm Did not shop at a mall. Ate and drank sensibly. Brushed my teeth at least twice a day. Wrote my living relatives without mentioning politics. Did not kill an evergreen for Christ. Donated to a good cause. Bought a Prius. Was patient with the slows. Taught my daughter about insect larvae. Did not hear Little Drummer Boy once. Promised not to overmodulate the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND. Recycled. NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: Never requested a rerun....
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Nose Hair Lint Gland
Dec 25, 2016 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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The Chinese Dinner of Christmas Shows. December 25, 2016 12:00am What began as a plugs-out test of the launch vehicle quickly devolved into tragedy and accusations of overmodulation and poor song choices. Why?? Chatroom History December 25, 2016 12:00am - 3:30am Karen Carpenter: 87.9 megaxmass to everyone (12:01am) President Trump: No more Christmas for you... (12:08am) Present Rump: Excluded (12:12am) President Trump: We love some WALLL!!!!!!! (12:20am) Karen Carpenter: I just realized KrOB is...
Topic: Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nose Hair Lint Gland
Dec 24, 2016 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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Soylent Night December 24, 2016 10:00pm So KrOB and I were just goofing off at Guitar Center on Christmas Eve... Chatroom History December 24, 2016 10:00pm - 12:30am Mr. Beau Dayshus: OHHHH YEAHHHHHH!!!!!!!! (10:01pm) lips and rhythm : :) (10:02pm) lips and rhythm : =) (10:02pm) lips and rhythm : =) (10:02pm) Karen Carpenter: patience dear listeners... running some long delayed remote broadcasting adjustments. Please stand by for more NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND (10:48pm) Mr. Beau Dayshus: OHHHH...
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Nose Hair Lint Gland
Dec 20, 2016 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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A VERY VUVUZELA CHRISTMAS December 20, 2016 10:00pm Braaaaaaaam! Braaaaaaaaaam braaaaaam braaaaaam braaaaaam braaaaaam braaaaaam braaaaaam braaaaaam, braaaaam braaaam braaaaaaaaaam braaaam braaaaaaaaaam braaam braaaaaam braaaaaam, braaaaaam braaam braaaaaaaaaaam braaaaaam braaaaaam. Braaaaaam braaam braaaaaam braaaaaam? Braaaaaam. Braaaaaam braaaaaam braaaaaam FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, braaaaaam braaaaaam braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam braaaaaam braaaaaam braaaam Karen Carpenter,...
Topic: Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nose Hair Lint Gland
Dec 13, 2016 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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NORMALIZING NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND December 13, 2016 10:00pm The whole country laughed at Radio Valencia DJs blatant use of IDENTITY POLITICS to proclaim their community excellence, while barely hidden beneath the LIES the all powerful Board of Directors continued making backroom sweetheart deals with WALL STREET, BEST BUY and the FCC... all on the backs of the working stiffs of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND. Now the real PATRIOTS have spoken and though the beloved U.S. CONSTITUTION have used the arcane...
Topic: Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nose Hair Lint Gland
Dec 6, 2016 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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RAINBOWS December 6, 2016 10:00pm The Karens, a group of people in Burma, once considered rainbows to be dangerous demonic spirits that devoured the souls of humans and caused sudden or violent deaths. They thought that such activity made the rainbow thirsty enough to appear in the sky and dip down to Earth to drink water. There was a belief among ancient Polynesians that a rainbow was a ladder that their heroes climbed to reach heaven. In ancient Greece people thought that Iris, wife of the...
Topic: Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nov 29, 2016 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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NOSE HAIR LINT HAMILTON, AN AMERICAN PODCAST November 29, 2016 8:00pm You would have no problem recognizing the Republicans of 1800. Wealthy landholders who dominated the South, demanding "states' rights", only land owning Caucasoid men voted, imposed slavery of fellow man, demanded the smallest government possible, tried to replace the national army with local militias, cutting taxes (especially on whiskey), refusing to accept opposition appointments to the Supreme Court and standing...
Topic: Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nov 22, 2016 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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ALT-NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND November 22, 2016 10:00pm ATTENTION ALL Homeland Exponents, Blond Power Advocates, Waxen Dogmatics, Caucasian Populists, Evangelical Kindlers, Patsy Reformists, Fringe Reactionaries, Conservative Wavemakers, Pale Propagandists, Northern European Rabblerousers, Rightwave Rights Champions, Caucasian Provocateurs, Achromatic Activists, Christian Firebrands, Populist Partisans and Rustic Agents of Change... GOOD NEWS, EVERYBODY! (and by everybody, we mean just those of you...
Topic: Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nov 20, 2016 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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ADVANCED COMPUTATIONS OF MURDER SKITTLES September 20, 2016 10:00pm Capacity of human hand = ~120ml (a generous approximation) size of Skittle = ~1.0ml (probably closer to 0.5ml but let's make the math easier) a "handful" of Skittles is ∴ = ~120 Skittles In a universe where there are infinite Skittles and the poisoned ones appear at the rate of 3/784000, the expression for the odds of exactly one particular Skittle out of a handful of 120 being bad is (3/784000)(1-3/784000)^119 (the...
Topic: Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nov 15, 2016 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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A PEACEFUL TRANSFER OF SHOW November 15, 2016 10:00pm We all knew this was coming. We've known for over a year that this might happen, and as of last week it's become a reality: there's now on a show on Tuesdays at midnight. That it's going to happen is a fact we must accept, but that doesn't mean we have to be complacent. We must never stop fighting for what we know to be right against the forces of community internet radio disharmony, and on the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, Karen...
Topic: Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nov 8, 2016 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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2016 RESULTS November 8, 2016 10:00pm Defying conventional wisdom, and all other forms, NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND successfully predicts the presidential outcome. NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: Forward Together! Chatroom History November 8, 2016 10:00pm - 2:30am vj pussycat: i don't understand. what happened to nhlg? (10:01pm) Dr. Penny: Hmmm, no NHLG? (10:03pm) vj pussycat: it was on 8-10 and stopped with out warning (10:04pm) Dr. Penny: ok (10:05pm) vj pussycat: they're back (10:06pm) Dr. Penny:...
Topic: Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nov 8, 2016 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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2016 ENDORSEMENTS November 8, 2016 8:00pm Tune in for SPECIAL EXTENDED COVERAGE by NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND of the 2016 Presidential, Congressional, State (or Commonwealth), County, City and District NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND Endorsements! Starting at 8pm PDT, Radio Valencia's most loved radio programme, NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, will begin with the Editorial Board of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND (Karen Carpenter [Independent-CA], Bob-Marc [Punk Party-Mars], Sherilyn Connelly [Twilight Party-Equestria], and KrOB...
Topic: Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nov 1, 2016 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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THE EVEN MORE FINAL-ER COUNTDOWN November 1, 2016 10:00pm I want to let the children know that you're going to hear a lot of people worrying about this. Some of your Moms and Dads, grandparents, even your big brothers and sisters... well, they might be scared. So I'm telling you to tell them, everything is going to be okay. I promise. Now I want to talk to the grownups. We know that the threat of a Donald Trump presidency is going to give some people an excuse for lawlessness. As of this...
Topic: Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nose Hair Lint Gland
Oct 25, 2016 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND RIGS A POLE October 25, 2016 10:00pm There is nothing more dishonest than the Radio Valencia Board of Directors. You have to believe me, they are the most dishonest, it's a disgrace. ... And the poles, I’m afraid they're being rigged, I have to be honest. We gotta beat a totally dishonest machine. It’s a disgrace to our country that they get away with it. It's a crooked system. We're running against a rigged system, and we're running against a dishonest pole. NOSE HAIR...
Topic: Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nose Hair Lint Gland
Oct 18, 2016 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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WHINING ABOUT VOTER FRAUD October 18, 2016 10:00pm What a rigged system Radio Valencia 87.9FM is, folks. We will never fix our rigged system by relying on the Programming Committee who rigged it in the first place. The process is rigged. This whole election is being rigged. These lies, spread by Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc, and Sherilyn Connelly without witnesses, without backup or anything else anybody makes an accusation that you did something, and you weren’t -- you never saw this person...
Topic: Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nose Hair Lint Gland
Oct 11, 2016 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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RADIO VALENCIA LOCKER ROOM TALK October 11, 2016 10:00pm ...look, we didn't say that. I don't think you understood what we said. This was locker room talk. We're not proud of it. We apologize to the other excellent DJs. Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc, and Sherilyn Connelly apologize to the "Radio" Valencia "community." Certainly we're not proud of it, but this is locker room talk, and on the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND it's just a distraction from the important issues...
Topic: Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nose Hair Lint Gland
Oct 4, 2016 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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WASTE OF SPACE October 4, 2016 10:00pm Since long before cell phones and artisanal toast, the much aligned and beloved opening segment of the Live Ask Doctor Hal Show was been "Waste of Space", a brief 45 minute mindbogglingly dull lecture on current space missions. Presented with crude black and white images, graphs, lines, circles and arrows, this edumacationable experience has left audiences wondering and wanting. Now, to no one's surprise, the title "waste of space" has...
Topic: Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nose Hair Lint Gland
Sep 27, 2016 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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NHLG FACT CHECKS RADIO VALENCIA September 27, 2016 10:00pm Some pundits claim it is not the job of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND to use the FINAL BROADCAST to fact check all the statements coming from the Radio Valencia Board of Directors (whoever they are), especially when so many legitimate mainstream media sources such as SF Weekly, Hoodline and Mission Local are the very definition of responsible journalism. Agreed, since it has been verified by multiple sources that Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc,...
Topic: Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nose Hair Lint Gland
Sep 13, 2016 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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CRAZY VALENCIA! September 13, 2016 10:00pm Hold the mistletoe, we're having our Labor Day Sale in September! Everything you probably ever wanted, including iPhones, Mp3 players, tablets, home entertainment systems, 4K flat screen TVs, Playstations, 3-D gaming platforms, cell phone cases, LED light strips, home appliances and more! All for you at list price! That's right, there is nothing funny about Crazy Valencia, we arrange purchase agreements with authorized suppliers, sell everything at...
Topic: Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nose Hair Lint Gland
Sep 6, 2016 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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RADIO VALENCIA 87.9FM SWITCHES TO DIGITAL September 6, 2016 10:00pm FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE The Federal Communications Commission has announced that on Tuesday, September 6, 2016 at 10pm, Radio Valencia 87.9FM must cease its analog transmissions and only broadcast in digital. Unfortunately, this coincides with the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND. After September 6, a radio receiver with only an analog broadcast tuner will require a converter box to receive over-the-air broadcasts from...
Topic: Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nose Hair Lint Gland
Aug 30, 2016 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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HOW TO IGNORE August 30, 2016 10:00pm So there's this boy who sits in my group and he is ALWAYS distracting me, and every time I try to stop him, I'm the one who gets yelled at! It's not fair! He's the one speaking out when we are suppose to be quiet, but if I say "be quiet", everyone tells me to "shush!". Really, I'm not making this up! He thinks he is so cool and funny with what he's doing and I just want to be left alone and do my assignment, but noooo, he keeps on going...
Topic: Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nose Hair Lint Gland
Aug 23, 2016 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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NHLG's UNEXPLAINED FILES August 23, 2016 10:00pm Who built the pyramids? What happened to Amelia Earhart? What's really going on in the Bermuda Triangle? On the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc, and Sherilyn Connelly will explore these and other unsolved mysteries, including: What's the point of Radio Valencia 87.9FM scheduling reruns when every RV show ever is available as a podcast at any given time (at least by those DJs who bother to podcast their shows)?...
Topic: Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nose Hair Lint Gland
Aug 18, 2016 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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MOPE MOPE NOTES PRESENTS THE J-HOLE August 18, 2016 8:00pm self-explanatory, yo. Chatroom History August 18, 2016 8:00pm - 10:30pm vj pussycat: wow I feel lucky (8:44pm) vj pussycat: 1234567 (8:45pm) vj pussycat: I had no idea! (8:49pm) vj pussycat: my guess is too much birthday cake (8:50pm) RadioGeek: no such thing (8:50pm) vj pussycat: thank you and you too (8:52pm) Alan B: EXTRA SHOW! (9:14pm) Alan B: CRAP TABLE (9:16pm) Alan B: ART, BABY! (9:17pm) Alan B: WE DO ART SHOW (9:18pm) Alan B:...
Topic: Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nose Hair Lint Gland
Aug 9, 2016 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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OLYMPIC GOLD P0RN NAMES August 9, 2016 10:00pm Günter Tittes Long Yang Jackie Pusey Buddy Horne Daisy Dick Bob-Marc Roper Erich Cuntz Peter Hol Tom Longstaff Karen Carpenter Petr Fuksa Serhiy But Edit Punk Sherilyn Connelly Peter Longbottom Pierre Pêcher Oliver Bone KrOB Eugene Licorish Peter Fuchs Cheryl Done Erny Putz Victoria Poon Grégoire Pennes Wanda Nuti Ioannis Ballis ... and the winner by a hair is: STEELE JOHNSON NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: Citius - Altius - Fortius - Crudesco Chatroom...
Topic: Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nose Hair Lint Gland
Aug 2, 2016 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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HAPPY PUBLIC DOMAIN BIRTHDAY TO SARAH AND BARACK August 2, 2016 10:00pm On June 27, 1859, teacher Mildred Hill was born. You may not know her name but you will almost certainly have sung the song she helped write. Hill was the co-composer of Happy Birthday To You, originally called Good Morning To All, which is the song millions of people sing around a candlelit cake. It was first published in a songbook 90 years ago, on the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND. Although by 1924 the...
Topic: Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nose Hair Lint Gland
Jul 26, 2016 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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BERNIE SANDERS IS WORSE THAN HITLER! July 26, 2016 10:00pm Yeah the old fashioned way like voter suppression, purging voter rolls, changing rules, media blackouts, making it difficult to watch the debates, not attending every agree'ed upon debate. Used to be just for republicans.... Some would say it still is! If it was a fair race, he would have won in a land slide!!! did u even read this? The only thing that will save us now is a sanders/Stien ticket, and an outside elections monitoring...
Topic: Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nose Hair Lint Gland
Jul 19, 2016 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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2016 J-POP SUMMIT PREVIEW WITH SPECIAL RETURNING GUEST HATSUNE MIKU July 19, 2016 10:00pm The 2016 Republican Covention is happening as we speak! Thankfully, the annual J-POP SUMMIT Festival is also happening this weekend, and if you don't know what that is, you're probably not Sherilyn. But on tonight's FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, Aomoji-kei padawan Sherilyn Connelly along with gaijin Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc, and KrOB will take you through everything you need to know about...
Topic: Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nose Hair Lint Gland
Jul 12, 2016 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND RUINS YOUR CHILDHOOD July 12, 2016 10:00pm Why can't Radio Valencia come up with any NEW ideas? Instead, the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND has has to go ahead and remake a show we all loved as children -- assuming everyone is exactly the same age as us and had the same childhood interests, and let's face it, people who aren't exactly like us hardly matter -- and ruin it in the process by including the WRONG kind of people, like Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc, Sherilyn...
Topic: Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nose Hair Lint Gland
Jul 5, 2016 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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SFUSD SUMMER SCHOOL LUNCH MENU July 5, 2016 10:00pm Bland Donut-Shaped Kosher Bread Petite Pasta au Gratin a la Kraft Miniature Biscuits Shaped Like Goldfish prepared by Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc and Sherilyn Connelly Peanut Emulsion with Fruit Pure on Baguette Nose Hair Lint Gland South By Southwest Appropriated Meal with Spices (Gluten Free) Beef Ground Circle with Cheese American Square Apple Tartare or HipHop Pop Tarts NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: More tasty show options coming next semester!...
Topic: Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nose Hair Lint Gland
Jun 28, 2016 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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THE NOSE HAIR LINT GLEXIT June 28, 2016 10:00pm We all knew it was coming, and yet nobody was prepared: the people have voted for the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND to leave the Wednesday Night Union, and thus to no longer be partnered with [REDACTED] at 8pm or Puzzling Evidence at midnight. But shortly after the NHLGlexit, as the show settled into a new timeslot following a DJ who actually smiles when Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc, Sherilyn Connelly, and KrOB walk in, Radio Valencia's...
Topic: Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nose Hair Lint Gland
Jun 21, 2016 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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BASIC CHAIR REPAIR June 21, 2016 10:00pm A warm, dry radio station is nice to come home to... but it's often hard on the furniture The dry heat shrinks the wood and causes the glue to dry out. And first thing you know... the studio chairs are coming to pieces. Well... here are some tips from Sherilyn Connelly (but definitely not Karen Carpenter) for putting 'em back together again. These suggestions come from the forest experts of the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND. There will be hot...
Topic: Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nose Hair Lint Gland
Jun 14, 2016 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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FASTING FURIOUSLY June 14, 2016 10:00pm Chances are you are among the massive majority of podcasters who rarely or never fast. It’s not because we haven’t read the Google Group or attending meetings or heard about the power of fasting, or even that we don’t genuinely want to do it. But DJs like Sherilyn Connelly just never actually get around to putting down the microphone. Part of it may be that we live in a society in which radio is so ubiquitous that we podcast only when we don’t...
Topic: Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nose Hair Lint Gland
Jun 8, 2016 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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CONFLICT RESOLUTION June 8, 2016 10:00pm Conflict, arguments, and change are natural parts of our lives, as well as the lives of every agency, organization, and nation. Conflict resolution is a way for Sherilyn Connelly, KrOB, and parties who shall remain nameless to find a peaceful solution to a disagreement among them. The disagreement may be personal, financial, political, or emotional. When a dispute arises on the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, often the best course of action is...
Topic: Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nose Hair Lint Gland
Jun 1, 2016 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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ROOM 3001 June 1, 2016 10:00pm The Ministry of Expectancy (prequel)
Topic: Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nose Hair Lint Gland
May 25, 2016 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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KANYE / TRUMP 2016 May 25, 2016 10:00pm We’re in a renaissance period. We’re in a place where people are like, multi-disciplined artists. Like Steve McQueen that directed 12 Years a Slave. He was considered to just be a photographer, but then he won an Oscar. We’re not in a place where Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc, and Sherilyn Conelly can only have one career or one profession throughout their entire life. So the exact amount of emotion and color palette and sonics and everything I put into...
Topic: Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nose Hair Lint Gland
May 18, 2016 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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RADIO VALENCIA REDUX May 18, 2016 10:00pm COLONEL Have you ever seen this DJ before, Captain Carpenter ? He points to a Radio Valencia DJ. CARPENTER No, sir. COLONEL This gentleman or myself ? CARPENTER No, sir. COLONEL I believe on your last job you executed a mime in Dolores Park, is that right ? CARPENTER I am not presently disposed to discuss that, sir. MAJOR Very good. COLONEL Then you can appreciate Command's concern over the stations's -- shall we say 'erratic' methods of operation....
Topic: Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nose Hair Lint Gland
May 11, 2016 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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NAMASTE, MOTHERFUCKERS! May 11, 2016 10:00pm Alright… so there´s this trend going around where people do yoga, smoke weed, listen to the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND and the 3 hipster bands they know and therefore think they´re happy and at peace with the world because they can walk on their hands (which is super useful). If you´re one of these peeps… well, you´re NOT! The other day I got into a heated argument with some yogi who was talking about the world and it´s energy...
Topic: Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nose Hair Lint Gland
May 4, 2016 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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THE SEARCH FOR HABITABLE EXOPODCASTS May 4, 2016 10:00pm The podcasts of the Radio Valencia system can be divided into two groups, the telluric podcasts and the gas giant (or "Jovian") podcasts. The telluric planets are spherical bodies with a crust of rock, and the gas giant podcasts are spheres composed of gas and ice (Dante's Hot Tub, Illogical Contraption, Hell's Kitchen and Malderor's Curated Catastrophe). An exopodcast (or extracommunity podcast) is a podcast orbiting a station...
Topic: Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nose Hair Lint Gland
Apr 27, 2016 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND'S Y2K PREPAREDNESS SEMINAR April 27, 2016 10:00pm It has recently been brought to the attention of Radio Valencia's management staff that our community is overdue for Y2K training. Sure, it was sixteen and a half years ago, but that's just the kind of un-excellent attitude that results in the comptroller not getting dues collected in time. And if we don't make sure we're Y2K-compliant, then there may be sloppy back-announcing -- or even dead air between shows, and THAT...
Topic: Nose Hair Lint Gland
Nose Hair Lint Gland
Apr 20, 2016 Nose Hair Lint Gland
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COMPASSIONATE MEDICAL RADIO April 20, 2016 10:00pm When you arrive at our easy-to-find office you will be greeted by a friendly medical radio professional who will hand you the clinic questionnaire. At any time you may help yourself to water and tea that are made available to everyone. Once you fill out our questionnaire a staff member will take and record your blood pressure, height, and weight to get everything in order for you to see the doctor jerk (DJ). When the DJ calls you in you will be...
Topic: Nose Hair Lint Gland